Sezza

Help me out?

2003-11-04T12:56:20Z

Currently in search of a Live Journal code so that I can trash this journal and get myself a new one, where I'll be able to freely post whatever the fuck I want without having to worry about dick heads from Graal leaving fucked up comments about me and my life. So if you have a spare code you could give to me.. please, lend me a helping hand? I'd forever be in your debt, and could probably repay you somehow. It's up to you, if you want to see more posts from me or not :)

I'll leave that for you to decide..

Post!

2003-10-31T06:02:33Z

There! I finally posted! Umm.. I'm not dead *yet* but I'll be sure to post more when I get back from Armadale, I don't really have alot to say at the moment, and not in the mood to type :D

Quiz time!

2003-07-04T07:39:09Z

For anyone who is bored, take this fucking quiz: http://kawaiisaria.friendtest.com/

Restricted to Friends only viewing,

2003-06-17T12:03:05Z

This journal, from here on, is strictly for friends only viewing. Unless you're wanting the bother of actually getting to know me, then I suggest you turn back, as you will not see much here -- only this one, lousy post (and the previous entries I have made in this journal) There are, however, a few things you must know about me before you start to get to know me better:

1. I am extremely moody, when you get on my bad side.
2. I am very sarcastic, which sometimes pisses people off.
3. I always speak my thoughts, no matter how rude, or how horrible they may be.
4. I am a total bitch, at all times.
5. I suffer from depression, so sometimes things can get horrible.
6. I like to be treated the way you like to be treated - treat me like shit, and I shall do the same.

Want to get to know me better? Leave a comment if you would like to be added to my friends list. Thank you for your patience.

- Sezza

Fucking LISTEN.

2003-05-05T09:58:01Z

Hilary, whom I once considered to be a close friend of mine. After all the shit I have done for you, I think it'd be fair for you to treat me with some respect. I still do not know why you chose to ignore me all the time, and to be honest, I've had it up to here with all of your shit. I've been patient with you, waiting for you to speak to me again, but it never happens, and I now realize that you were never my friend to begin with. I spent over five hundred dollars to come over and be with you for your birthday, you were looking forward to that, as was I. I also did everything in my power to try and make you happy, and you always knew you had someone to come and talk to whenever you felt the need to talk about something that had been bothering you. I supported you, I was a friend to you. Am I getting any of this in return from you? NO. I want to know what the fuck your problem is. Were you using me for something? or was it something I had said or done to you that made you ignore me and turn your back against me? All I want to know is why you're acting this way towards me. You're supposed to be my friend, and this is not how friends treat each other. I cannot believe I wasted five hundred dollars on you, it was not worth it, now that I think back on it. You treated me like shit the whole time I was there, all you did was sit online all day. So I just slept, and called people on my mobile phone..

I have a serious question.

2003-05-01T00:04:42Z

What is love really? Does anyone know?

Does anyone know what love is? Please, explain your definitions!

Mmm.. Roses..

2003-04-10T10:59:45Z

Hey, how is everyone today? I had a great day today but I can't be bothered typing much, which is to be expected of me in most cases. I finally got my assignments out of the way, big stress reliever knowing that they're all done and out of the way! Now I can just sit back, relax, and enjoy the ride (what ride? haha) I'm a dumbass, no doubt other things will pop up, can't just sit back and relax forever now can we? Sorry to cut you all so short, but I am ending this entry here (because I'm a lazy bum) So until next time, love you all!

Listen!

2003-04-09T11:41:10Z

Does anyone still read my journal? Or have you all lost interest.. I never seem to get many comments anymore.

Huggles! hehe!

2003-04-08T12:46:06Z

I want hugs.. I want hugs.. Do you want hugs too? I'm in a huggle snuggle mood at the moment, I want someone to cuddle into! I have to wait till the weekend though, unless I go to college tomorrow (if I'm still in this mood) and go around hugging people randomly! Then again, nah - I'm way too shy to do that stuff, and some people might enjoy it just a little too much. I'll just give you all a blow kiss instead! *mwah* I wonder what you all think, it's about time I made a public post.. May do it more often, depends what mood I'm in. Not that I use this thing much anymore anyway. Love you all!

- Sezza

Forever yours..

2003-04-02T12:26:33Z

This song, these lyrics.. Related to me and what I feel in every way possible.. Please, if you have the time, download this song.

Fare thee well, little broken heart
Downcast eyes, lifetime loneliness

Whatever walks in my heart will walk alone

Constant longing for the perfect soul
Unwashed scenery forever gone

Whatever walks in my heart will walk alone

No love left in me
No eyes to see the heaven beside me
My time is yet to come
So I'll be forever yours

Whatever walks in my heart will walk alone

No love left in me
No eyes to see the heaven beside me
My time is yet to come
So I'll be forever yours

No love left in me
No eyes to see the heaven beside me
My time is yet to come
So I'll be forever yours

Whatever walks in my heart will walk alone

Whatever walks in my heart

Removed access.

2003-03-25T15:16:02Z

I have removed Nathan Davies from my friends list, because it seems he has broken my trust yet again. Pasting parts of my journal (restricted to friends only viewing) to those who are not on my friends list. I will not trust him again, and not even going to consider it. Nathan, you should learn to keep your word. You should learn not to interfere with my life, it seems that's what you're trying to do yet again, and I'm sick of it. Just how many fucking times do I have to go through this with you? Cant you get it through your thick head already? God damn. Stay out of my life. I guess there is no such existing word as "privacy of other people" in your book, is there? Well, just goes to show I can't trust anyone anymore. Stupid cunts.

What's up?!

2003-02-12T02:20:49Z

Hey, I am still in Sydney (duh, obviously) changed my flights to come back earlier though. I'm wanting to be in Perth on Valentines day, I will be leaving Sydney tomorrow at 8.15am (was supposed to be leaving Febuary the 18th) I've been having a good time, when I get back to Perth, I will scan some photos (once they are developed) and tell you everything about my trip to Sydney. Right now though, I am using my cousins computer, I am going to get offline now to watch a movie (The wedding singer I think) Expect to hear from me again sometime soon.

I love you Hilary! :P

2003-01-31T09:57:20Z

Well, I just got back from the city not too long ago, and John just went home *sobs* I'm lonely again. I've got most of my things packed and ready for tomorrow, and I'm still nervous as hell. Why do I feel nervous? Dunno, but I do know for a fact that Hilary will probably find some way to shame me out when I arrive, which I don't really mind, hehe. I'm looking forward to going over to Sydney, and spending my time with Hilary, I know it'll be heaps fun. But like, uhh.. I have nothing to say anymore! oh well, I guess this is my final post for a while, see you all later!

Privacy invasion.

2003-01-21T09:07:58Z

For starters, I'd like to apologize to all who thought I somehow "invaded" or pasted parts of their friends only journal entries to others. This was not the case, and by all means, it's not something I'd do to friends. If you do not trust me, and you wish to remove me from your friends list, fine, go ahead, it only goes to show how much of a friend you really are. Secondly, Nathan Davies - You have invaded my privacy one too many times, you have mentioned me (yes, I'm the one he talks about most of the time in his live journal entries, now that you know, go ahead and laugh) way too many times, and it still seems like you are "obsessed" with me. Being over protective, trying to make me tell you things I don't feel comfortable telling you (or anyone, for that matter) and getting jealous over the stupidest of things (such as my friends, and what I like to do) This is getting to be too much to handle, it is my life, and what I do with it should be none of your concern. I am giving you one more chance, however, you may decide to clean up your act soon. If I seem like a total bitch then, okay, whatever. I'm just telling the truth, and all I want is for you to stop worrying about me all the time, and to stop caring about me like I am your "everything" and if I go you'd never be able to live without me. That is all, for now. Thank you for paying attention and/or listening.

Mweee!

2003-01-07T20:17:13Z

Alex is a sleepy head! and I am extremely bored, I cannot sleep, so like, I'm sitting here playing Ragnarok Online while Alex is in the room next to me, sleeping his little head off. I'm so bored, I have no one to annoy now, and I really want huggles. I think I'm gonna go and spy on Alex for a while (Alex will kill me if he sees this, I just know he will) Guess what everyone?! boredom controls me most of the time (why else would I waste my time writing shit in my journal?) I'm a bit pissed off at people always telling me I'm wrong, or shouting at me for being concerned or worried about them. Lately, alot of people have been acting like total ass holes *shrugs* maybe it's just the time of year.. Oh well, I'm off, got nothing more to say. Ciao, rude cunts!

Oh, one more thing before I end this entry.. Nick, I love you too :) Thanks for caring, and not turning your back on me like most people have done. You're well and truly a great, kind, and caring friend. *smiles and toddles off into the darkness*

Ho ho ho.

2002-12-24T16:06:47Z

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Hope you all have a safe and happy holiday, as well as a terrific new year! All of my love to each and every one of you, especially my friends, and family. Thank you all, for being there for me. Thank you all, for caring (Not that any of you really did, but thanks to all who cared) *smiles and huggles you all* Have a great holiday :)

Interesting..

2002-11-11T15:53:18Z

Perhaps, this quiz is accurate? You decide..

What's YOUR Writing Style?
brought to you by Quizilla
You are a dark writer. A fierce and loyal follower of Poe and the other gothic authors, you LOVE to instill a sense of revulsion and somewhat fear in your readers. You love to poke their brains with logic dealing with the darker side of the human mind and character. Truly surprising and a true individual, you'll do ANYTHING to create a scene.

Alright, maybe not?

2002-11-11T13:15:00Z

Okay, maybe not goodbye.. But I'm sure as hell getting sick and tired of people like Asif, who go around telling people to kill themselves for the hell of it. I will not be online alot at all anymore, and I will continue to avoid the fuckers who think they're being "cool" by telling people to go and kill themselves. People like that aren't worth worrying about, and it has come to my attention that they're the ones that need to kill themselves (too harsh, let's try another suggestion) or get some major psychiatric help. One more thing also - before I end this entry, I'd like to take some time to tell you all that my elfwood gallery(s) have finally been updated! go check them out, by following either one of these two links: Fantasy art or Fan art.

Fencing gone bad..

2002-11-06T13:52:21Z

I am in a great deal of pain right now. I was fencing against a guy named Lee, who is in the same class as me. His sword kinda flung toward my left hand, which was an accident on his behalf because his sword just slipped or something when he was defending my attack, and smacked up right against the side of my left hand. It hurt like HELL, so now I have this big red sword mark on my left hand, the most I'll get from it is a bruise or something. I still continued fencing after that though, and at some other point during the bout, I accidentally lost control over my sword and nearly got him in his nuts.. I actually got him on the upper part of his thigh, near the crotch area. That was kind of fucked, I had trouble controlling my sword because my hands were so sore. So I've decided to go back on Saturday again to repeat the lesson, I need more practice and hopefully my hands wont play up this time. I also have to attend some meeting on Sunday, at 2pm -- sounds fun, so I'm gonna attend. That is all that really happened, nothing much, but things got a bit rough for me today, as you can tell. Ahh well, I'm going to end it here, nothing much else to say really.

Please, save me..

2002-11-05T05:55:31Z

My heart is growing - I can feel it.
My heart is growing colder, as days go by.
Without you - my love, I have nothing.
Nothing to look forward to,
nothing to live for -- only you.

You, the light of my life,
you, my one true happiness.
Without you, I am nothing.
Without you, I cease to exist..

Nothing matters to me anymore.
Nothing at all -- only you.
You, my hero,
you, my only love.

Please, save me...

Please, stop...

2002-10-25T12:27:12Z

All I'm asking is for someone to stop the pain. I want to live a normal life, for once.. I want to be happy again, like I was back in America. Why must I be cursed with pain in my own home town? I love this place, oh so much, but it's gotten to the stage where I cannot stay here much longer. I'm wanting to cut myself again, which is a bad sign.. I promised myself I wouldn't start that shit again, but what if it all gets out of control and I do start cutting myself again..? I know Stewart would be dissapointed in me, he'd probably break up with me like all the others did.. I just need someone close by who is willing to listen, and will always be there.. I want to be able to hold Stewart in my arms once again.. I want this pain and suffering to end. Please, someone.. stop this punishment.

Boring..

2002-10-24T14:10:46Z

Today was a rather boring day. Stewart called me at 7am, waking me up again. He told me how much he missed me being there with him as I told him that I missed his company alot also. He got off work early so we got to talk peacefully without him getting interrupted by customers and stuff, which made me happy. After our conversation, I went back to sleep. I then woke up at 3pm, went to the bathroom and had a shower, then took some more photos with my web cam. I then installed the drivers for my Graphire 2 graphics tablet, and sketched with that in Adobe Photoshop for a few hours.. I spent most of my day sitting on the computer, which is pretty bad. Right now I am chatting to some people on Furcadia while listening to music, and my hands are beginning to hurt like hell. I think it's time for me to switch off my computer for the night and rest my hands.

Fencing

2002-10-23T14:16:41Z

Tonight was the greatest, I won my first ever fencing match. Well, it was not the real thing, it was basically just using all of the techniques we had learned in the past two lessons we had. It was great fun, and I'm really enjoying myself so far. Gillian (the secretary) gave me a hand book thing which tells me the prices of the equipment I need to get. Hopefully I'll be ordering my equipment sometime this week. And yes, I've thought it over numerous times, and I'm really serious about fencing, I'm wanting to continue this sport and hopefully it may become of use to me in near future. If not, it's a great way to stay fit and keep in shape. I was disappointed when we had to leave slightly early (the class finishes usually around 9pm, sometimes will go until 10pm depending on what we're learning.) We had to leave at 8:30pm because Fleur has school tomorrow and her mother wanted her home at a decent hour. Anyways, I'm really tired. I think I'm going to go and curl up under my covers, wait for Stewart to call me, and go to sleep.. Goodnight! :)

It's too early

2002-10-22T23:00:55Z

Blah, Stewart called me at 5:55am. He woke me up, now I'm tired and unable to get back to sleep. I was right in the middle of a dream also, about this kick ass graphics tablet that someone brought me, maybe I'll buy it sometime. It's called the Initios 2 or something, I have the Graphire 2, and it's not so easy to use, I don't think it was designed for art work like I use it for. My fingers also get sore from the pen grip, and the surface of the tablet is hard and smooth, so it's hard to control the pen because it's always slipping.. I'm about to burn some of my new MP3s onto a CD so I can listen to them in my bedroom, my other computer has not got sound because of the shitty sound card (I seriously need to get a new one). Speaking of MP3s and music, I recommend you download Moonlight Shadow techno remix by DJ Mystik, but if you're not into techno then go for the original version by Mike Oldfield. I phoned Fleur last night, and we're going to meet up this afternoon after she finishes school, perhaps we'll go shopping at Kingsway, seeing as I cannot step foot inside the Warwick shopping center anymore, it reminds me too much of "Bhala". I'm also going to be helping her with her project on "teen suicide" because she asked me so nicely. She also agreed on coming to fencing classes with me, so I'll have a fencing buddy for tonights class :)

Haha!

2002-10-22T05:47:32Z

Yesterday night was like, the best night I'd had in a while. I saw Jarrad and his cousin Gordon riding around on their scooters near my house so decided to sneak out and say hi to them, as we had not seen each other for months. Anyway, they asked me something disturbing, and I was wondering why they wanted to know, they asked me if I had any frangas (which is another term for condom). I was like, "uhm, yeah.. I have a few.. why?" They made me go get some of them, then filled them with water, and ditched them at cars passing by. God it was funny, some of the reactions we got from doing that. So anyway, we were out all night ditching condoms at cars and chatting about stuff etc. It was great catching up with them both, they're like, funny or something. Jarrad looks weird now, he's got this goatee thing going which makes him look like the devil. Oh yes, I took a new photo of me not so long ago, I'll place it below this post for you all to gawk at. I must go now and return these videos I rented, I'll get more for tonight to keep me entertained, that is, if I'm not out throwing condoms at cars again. :)